When you acquire a new dog, training is very essential and we dove headfirst in to it by reading 5 different texts on dog training, specifically German Shepherds. What I have found interesting about this is the interactions that we have had with the dog “experts”. In our case, this would be the breeders and various trainers and even the staff at 3 local pet shops.

What I have experienced is the prevailing notion that we are “wrong”. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. No matter what the issue, or how close or far we actually were to the expert’s opinion, they are very quick to point out how we are materially screwing up our dog. In one case, the expert gave some good advice about consistency and not using the dog’s name when giving a command (in other words, don’t say “Uschi, sit”, just issue the command “sit”…it worked like a charm).

However, when the expert retuned a week later, and I thanked them for the advice, and even demonstrated it for them with the compliant beast, I received no positive feedback. Instead, he focused on (yet another) area where my dog-training skills were lacking.

The upshot of this is that I very quickly began to not care. Oh, I care about my Uschi, and training her correctly, but I no longer care for “expert” dog people’s advice. For me they all start to fall under the umbrella of “me giving you dog advice is just meant for me to feel better about myself by making you feel wrong or bad about what you are doing”. See, training the dog is secondary to them feeling like they are fixing my problem, or adding value, or illuminating a wrong of some sort. Crazy, right?!

No, not crazy, more like very common. We see this same affliction in leaders in business. People who don’t listen very well, and assume they have the right answer to your issue and then shove it at you with no regard to how you feel about it. They too, are more into themselves than their relationship with you.

The funny thing about the dog trainers is that they very rarely are training the dog. They are training the dog-owners to train the dog when the trainers are not present. By breaking the relationship and trust with the owner, they are rendering themselves ineffective at successfully training the dog. In other words, they miss the mark.

Consider your business relationships. Are you fooled into believing you add value to your relationships by pointing out what every one around you is doing wrong, or do you follow the sage advice of “pointing out what is right” with your team. It is true that where you put your attention and focus grows. If you focus on the negative stuff that is doing wrong, you will get more of that. If you focus on the things that people are doing right, well, you will see that grow exponentially as well. The question is what do you want more of: what is wrong, or what is right?

As the songs progressed, and Jason solidified himself as the “lead” vocalist and front man of the band, it was clear who was in charge and the leader.  Then a change occurred.  The band had a hit single in the tune “Wrecking Ball” and that song began.  I noticed that the bands bassist Bryce Soderberg was taking lead vocals on the song.  “Of course”, I thought, “this did not sound like Jason Wade on the radio”, it must be the bassist’s song and indeed it was.

But….where was Jason Wade?  I could hear his guitar being played, but he was no where on the stage.  What Jason had done is what so many leaders struggle to do in providing successful leadership to their teams and organizations.  Jason was off stage, giving Bryce the spotlight (literally) and letting him bask in the public success of his song.  Jason continued to support Bryce by playing his guitar and providing backup vocals from back stage.  Only near the end of the song did Jason emerge to finish and to announce Bryce’s success.

As a leader, is it all about you, or are you willing and able to give your team and organization the credit that it earns through their hard work and dedication?  Can you relinquish the spotlight and share the glory and success with others?  Leaders that can share the reward and recognize their team members are rewarded tenfold with loyalty, dedication, hard work, and a reputation for great leadership.

We all read about the bands over time that implode from their own success with egos and big money getting in the way.  Organizations are not far away from that analogy.  Do you want to be the leader of a band that implodes despite  (or because of) it’s success, or do you want to provide stable, shared leadership that will last over time.

My hope for you is that you will learn to lead like Jason Wade and learn to share the spotlight, if not give it all to your team.

Photo credit:  okyougogirl

Recently I had the privilege of hearing an executive address a group of “high potential” leaders in his company, and he used Oz as a leadership metaphor.  He believed that you needed three characteristics to be an excellent leader:

Brains:  Like the scarecrow, you need brains.  Being smart is important, but we are not just talking about “book smart”.  There is “life smart” also, and knowing people and how to influence them is just as important as understanding and applying principles of process and finance.

Heart:  Being empathetic and understanding, showing up for people when they are in need.  I know that this particular leader that gave this talk missed an important team dinner so that he could attend the funeral service of the spouse of an employee.  We may not always get it right, but it is important to “have heart” and make the effort to do the right thing for folks.

Courage:  Perhaps the most difficult of the Oz metaphors to follow.  We have the opportunity to step into courage every day.  Telling a customer no on a discount and still booking the sale with a “yes”, giving a colleague or direct report feedback that they need to improve their performance and examples of what we mean.  It is difficult to be courageous in our relationships, and necessary if we are to exemplify excellent leadership

It’s easy to see the analogies here from Oz to Leadership.  In each of these buckets are you achieving and excelling?  In what other areas could you use some work?  We all should strive to achieve balance between brains, heart and courage, what is your balance?

This video (Click here for video) is a legacy for Andy Irons, a professional surfer who recently passed away at age 32.  As you watch the video, think about the legacy he left behind.  His legacy had a global reach, and he touched people deeply in a very positive and effusive way.  This shows in the global outpouring of affection and the way he was honored by the world.

What is your legacy that you are creating today.  All of your behaviors and relationships are what go into the creation of your legacy on a daily basis.  This is like your “brand”, but much deeper.  It is what you will ultimately be remembered for.  What will you be remembered for when it comes time for your legacy?

Photo courtesy of Mike Baird

This experience is called “Emotional Contagion” which is the tendency to catch and feel emotions that are similar to and influenced by those emotions of others.  Research by John Cacioppo and Sigal G. Barsade indicate that it is the tendency to automatically mimic and synchronize facial expressions, vocalizations, postures and movements with those of another person and, consequently, to converge emotionally.

This is what was happening to me in the Merchandise Mart on that particular morning.  Even in the brief instant that I was connecting to a stranger’s gaze, a bit of emotion was passed on.  We see this with infants and toddlers too.  You know that you can “make” them laugh, smile, or consequently cry or yell through your interactions.

What does this mean, and what is the impact from a leadership perspective?  Well, how are your emotions, or daily moods affecting the people on your team?  It is a good leadership question to ask yourself, because you are engaging in emotional contagion all of the time, you don’t (or can’t) turn it off.

This is about building an awareness of your emotions and what you want to be transmitting to other people, not just telegraphing what comes out.  Next time you are engaging with people at work, think about what message you want to send and then send it!  A sure-fire way to positively impact your team and the attitude of those around you!

Fast forward to today and correlate Social Facilitation Theory and Social Networking Theory.  I use an iphone based app called RunKeeper.  It is a GPS app that tracks my run and then I can tell it to share the data on Twitter/LinkedIn/Facebook. In short, it updates my entire network and shows them data from my run:  distance, pace map, elevation, etc.  Am I thinking about this when I run?  Absolutely.  Does it affect my performance, knowing that my performance data will be shortly communicated to my network in real time?  Ah, yes, yes it does.

Peer pressure is an interesting thing.  As leaders, how do we leverage the community (or team) that we have built to focus on: clear communication, team accountability, open constructive conflict, and ultimately better team results.  Is there a creative way to use social networking tools to stimulate some of this social facilitation for the good of our people, company, and shareholders?  Also, as a leader, are you truly plugged into your people?  Do you know what is important to them in their lives and their careers?  Are you engaged as a leader, and are you “showing up” for your team in a constructive, positive way that is supportive and helpful.  Are you the “social networking” element to your team?

I agree that when I get “handled” by a computer aided automated attendant, I feel like the interaction is sterile, and the possibility certainly exists for hostility when (and if) I ever reach a human in the organization.  Then, I recognized technology as part of a continuum, with de-personalization on one end, and (for lack of a better word) enablement on the other.  I pitched out the idea that technology is not always depersonalizing, and that it can be enabling in the correct setting.  I likened it to a tool in a tool box, you would not use a hammer on a screw, or a screwdriver on a nail…it simply would not work.  So when two co-workers who are co-located together send e-mails to one another over 8 times to resolve an issue instead of walking down and talking face to face, I would agree that technology is a tool that depersonalized that interaction.  It is also the wrong tool for the job.  A positive example is when I engage with people over many time zones using a Cisco tool called WebEx and use my camera and on-line collaboration tools to communication and collaborate.  That actually is technology personalizing the interaction and is the correct tool for the job.

So the next time you see yourself using technology out of habit, or wondering if you can improve your virtual, long-distance relationships, consider the many tools of technology that are available to you and challenge yourself as a leader as to weather or not you are using the right tool for the job.

One was above the hole on a hill (shot by the “A” player), and the other was in the front of the green, but far from the hole (shot by our older, veteran player). Both were difficult shots to make, and I saw the two players who shot them get entrenched in “voting” for hitting their shots next. They literally went and stood over their balls, alternating shouting why we should play their shot. It was clear to me that we were not going to win with this mentality. They were more invested in their own shots (and egos) then the success of our team.

We chose the shot at the front of the green, and after we had all taken our shots, the “A” player walked up to his ball and chipped it from the top of the hill, commenting “see, I told you I could play this one better”. So I ask you, in your day-to-day leadership, are you like our “A” player, putting your ego ahead of the team needs, or are you willing to truly “take one for the team” and subordinate your ego needs for the good of the team. Oh, and by the way, we lost the tournament.

From a leadership perspective, community creates the opportunity for collaboration, open learning, better execution, acceleration of ideas, and even fosters positive disruption due to the connection that exists.  It is a good question to ask ourselves as leaders:  ”What am I doing to create a sense of community”?  Sponsoring a team offsite event around fun (and maybe some work stuff), taking the team to lunch, or maybe having a local stand-up magician come in and perform for the team at lunch.  Anything that gives them a common anchor that they can connect over is a good idea that will pay dividends into the future.  Hey, you could even buy them all a Jeep Wrangler!  Consider the benefits of creating more of a community where you provide leadership, and see what sort of a payoff you get from your investment.